2017 2017…. there’s only 1 word to describe 2017 - terrible.

I just want 2018 to be a better year and that the person I love to find his way back to me :)

Up till now, I still blame myself for doing all those things that pushed you away and caused you to leave me. My biggest regret is not cherising you and taking you for granted. As much as I want to let go of the past, it still hurts me every time that you no longer want to spend as much time together with me, that you no longer look at me like the way you used to, that you no longer want to hold my hands nor hug me. I still think about how we used to be inseparable in the past and we would say “I love you” to each other at random times. You thought I was the one for you and I thought that you would be my groom.

I’m so scared. I want to know your answer but I’m afraid that it would be something that I don’t wish to hear. I just want us to be normal again, why can’t we?

Your friends warned me about you. I refused to listen to them. I chose to believe and have faith in you. Please, don’t let your friends be right. Will you do this just for me, please? :(

I miss how we used to be inseparable from each other. I miss the times when you would tell me that you loved me randomly. I miss you telling me that I’m pretty, beautiful and cute. I miss the times when you thought I was your world and you would never leave me. So, why did you choose to leave?

Am I overreacting?

And I thought we would last forever. What a joke.

Waiting for the guy who will do anything and everything to make me happy, make me his top priority, support me in everything I do, willing to compromise for me, put in effort into our relationship, a guy who will be my best friend for the rest of my life and listen to all my rants, comfort me when I feel down, be there for me whenever I need him.

I guess this guy doesn’t exist.

I’m obviously not ready to be in a rs. Having to hide everything from my family, not being able to have my own freedom, it sucks terribly. I can’t wait for the day when I graduate and get my freedom that I have been longing for and never come back.

EVERYTHING IS OVER

Why can’t I just move on when I know that I’m only hurting myself by doing this??????????????